I Turn To You...Chapter One

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Alison Woods stepped into the bar and glanced around. She took a deep breath as her eyes sought out some sort of comfortable medium. She walked directly to the bar and sank onto the stool.

Alison looked up to spot his smiling face. She broke a light smile and nodded, "Hi Frank."

"Seriously? Well...I think I feel honored," Frank smiled, "Why don't I give you a nice table over here? Will Jamal be joining you?"

"Oh...okay," He said with a smile, "Well then. Come on over here and I'll give you a nice table."

She followed him across the restaurant and sat down at the table. She adjusted herself in the chair and looked around the room. So many people were with their husbands. So many women were smiling at men who were being so attentive to them. She remembered what that was like. She just wished she could forget how it felt.

Alison looked up and saw Livvie approaching her table with a growing smile. Alison stood and embraced her friend in a hug, "Livvie, how are you?"

"I'm great. What about you? When did you get back in Port Charles?" Livvie asked as she took a step back to look at her friend.

"I would really love it if you would," Alison smiled as she sat down at the table.

Livvie sat across from her friend and smiled, "So are you visiting for a while or what?"

"No," Alison said with a sigh, "He's....." She blinked for a moment, "We're getting divorced."

"So am I," Alison frowned, "I guess I knew it was coming for a while, but it's still just so hard to deal with, you know? It's kind of unreal."

"I found him in bed with an actress from a movie he was working on as a stunt man. He'd actually brought her home to our house and our bed," Alison spoke as she closed her eyes, "He didn't even bother to apologize for it."

"No, it doesn't. He's different now, Livvie. He changed so much that I don't even recognize him any more. He's not the man I married, Livvie."

"So did I," Alison frowned before taking a deep breath, "What about you? What's going on in your life?"

"I'm a intern over at GH now," Livvie smiled, "And Jack and I are building a house."

"We did," Livvie smiled, "We're married now. We ran off to Atlantic City one night and just tied the knot. Of course, my father wasn't thrilled with the idea, but I think he sees that we were meant to be together."

"I did," Alison spoke then shrugged, "For a while. I hope someday I will again."

Alison smiled at her friend. She wanted to believe that she could have happiness. She just didn't know that she wanted it anytime soon.

Chris Ramsey lay in his bed, adjusting his pillow again. He sighed as he turned his face into the soft material and groaned. His nights were more restless than ever.

He turned slightly to look towards the end of the bed. He blinked his eyes as he didn't believe what he was seeing, "Kelly?"

Kelly Cramer-Ramsey smiled, untying her robe and dropping it to the floor. She slowly crawled onto the bed, covering his form. She looked into his eyes for a moment with a smile, "Hey baby."

"You're here," He said as he moved his fingers into her hair, "You're really here."

"I'm really here baby," She smiled before lowering her lips to his. She kissed him heatedly as she moved her fingers leisurely over his bare chest.

"Kelly," He breathed as he looked into her eyes, "I love you. I will always love you."

"Chris, you still have so much life to live. You can't give up on finding love."

"I have love...with you," He explained as he moved his fingers over her cheek, studying her features, "I love you, Kelly. I don't want to find anyone else."

"Chris," Kelly spoke as she forced him to look into her eyes, "You have to find a way to be happy. I know that you can if you just open your heart and give someone a chance. You never know. Love could be where you least expect to find it."

"We were great together," Kelly said as tears formed in her eyes, "We have such beautiful proof of that, but you can't stop living because I'm gone. I don't want you to shut down, Chris. I want you to be happy. You deserve happiness, and I know that there is a woman out there who can bring you all of that happiness."

"No," Chris declared firmly, "No, I love you. You're the only woman I ever want to love."

"Chris, please," She spoke amidst tears before she kissed him gently, "I just want to see you happy. Say you'll do this...say you'll do this for me."

"Kelly, don't ask me to fall in love again. I don't want to. I don't want to go through that again," He closed his eyes as he felt tears of his own forming.

She lightly pressed a kiss to his lips, "You owe this to yourself, Chris. Please don't let my memory hold you back."

"Kelly..." He whispered reaching out to her before she vanished before his very eyes.

Chris' eyes snapped open before he sat up suddenly in bed. She was gone. So it had just been another dream....another long torturous dream. He was alone.....and he would always be alone.

The sounds of crying interrupted his thoughts. Well....he wasn't completely alone.

Chris slipped out of bed and pulled a ragged tee shirt over his head. He walked down the hallway before he switched on the light and crossed the room. Her pale blue eyes were full of tears as she held her arms out to him. As he approached her, her lip twitched lightly amidst her sobs. He swept his fingers gently over her light blond hair while she reached for his arm. He gently eased his hands around her midsection and lifted her into his arms.

Chris patted his daughter on the back as he held her. He squeezed her lightly in his arms to silence her cries. He cocked his head a bit to look down at her, "Were you having bad dreams?" The only reply he received was a final sob as she relaxed into his gentle arms. Chris pressed his lips to her forehead gently before sighing, "Me too, Rose. Me too."

Chris stepped into the ER with his executive bag and Rose's diaper bag over one shoulder while Rose rested comfortably on the other. He walked across the front of the admissions area to gather his messages as Gabriella converged on him from the side.

"Rose!" She gushed as she reached out to lightly touch the little girl's hand, "You just get prettier every day."

Chris smiled as he sorted through his messages with one hand. Rose seemed to capture everyone's eye and draw them all to her in a flash.

Rose bashfully burrowed into her father's shoulder as Gabriella attempted to get her attention. Chris gently rubbed his daughter's back, "Don't mind her, Gabby. She didn't sleep much last night so she'd just a tad on the grumpy side."

"Poor thing," Gabby said sympathetically, "I remember when the boys were her age. Neither one of them knew how to sleep through the night," She spoke of her two children with Joe Scanlon.

"I think it must be catching because I was actually awake before she was," He complained before he looked back to her, "Would you do me a favor and tell Eve I'll be with her in just a few minutes? I've got to take Rose up to day care."

"Sure thing," Gabby offered a smile before Chris turned away with his daughter and made his way to the elevator.

Life hadn't been easy since he'd come back to Port Charles despite the way people were now greeting him with a smile. It had been a difficult decision to return to Port Charles after everything that had happened during the Livvie situation and Julie's return. But worse yet was how it felt to stay in Llanview with memories of his wife lingering everywhere he looked.

He had been back in Port Charles almost six months now, but it still felt uncomfortable. Everywhere he turned, it was like everyone looked at him with sympathy in their eyes. He was a widowed father of a nine month old girl.

He sighed as he stepped off the elevator and began the trek towards the In-Hospital Day Care. Karen Wexler joined him halfway across the lobby, "Hey, why don't you let me take Rose to day care, Chris? Eve is pitching a fit down in the ER."

"When doesn't she pitch a fit these days?" Chris rolled his eyes, "She can just wait. I'm not going to bow to her every whim or wish."

"You're not going to make good time with the board that way, you know. Irritating the chief of surgery that way," Karen said with a raised eyebrow.

He shook his head, "Gee....let me see if I care here. Hmm...nope, can't say that I do. When Monica Quartermaine left this position to me, I vowed that cardiology wasn't going to get kicked around here anymore. And I won't let Little Miss Saintly get in my way."

Karen grinned, "You know, Chris, it's good to have you back. I think you're the one person that doesn't give Eve everything she wants. Funny how things change. It used to be that you were the one person who would have done everything she wanted."

"Yeah....then I grew up and realized that she only liked to use me and I got nothing in return," He half smiled, "Besides, you know me....look out for number one first."

Karen half laughed, "Seriously, I'd love to take Rose to day care for you if you'll let me." She spoke as she looked over Rose's delicate features.

Chris watched Karen carefully as he saw the longing for a child behind her eyes. He sighed before offering her a smile, "Sure. Why not? You're one of the few people that Rose has really taken to in this town."

"That's because we're buddies," Karen smiled as she took Rose into her arms. Rose looked at Karen for a moment before placing her cheek upon Karen's shoulder and gently squeezing her in a hug. Karen took the diaper bag from Chris and smiled before she took off down the hall.

Chris watched Karen disappear down the hall with his daughter, Karen talking to the little girl and smiling all the way. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. He really wished Karen's situation was different. If anyone deserved to have children, it would be Karen.

He took a deep breath as he looked up and around. He was doing the same thing with Karen that people were doing to him. Sympathizing to the nth degree. He knew how utterly depressing it could be, and he wished people would restrain themselves.....so he had to do the same.

Chris set his jaw as he turned around to face the man he hated more than anything, "Thornhart, what do you want now?"

"It's called protection, Ian. I don't want this hospital to come under a lawsuit because you're too drunk to properly tend to your patients," He spoke clearly, "Check yourself into rehab then come back when you're clean. GH and her patients deserve better."

"And the hits just keep rolling," Chris groaned as he glanced to the floor to restrain the animosity he felt towards the both of them. He looked back up after a moment, "You two can deal with this. I have patients to get to."

"You're not going anywhere, Ramsey," Eve lashed out, "You're going to stay right here and explain."

"Okay, let me put this in very simple terms where even the two of you can understand. Ian doesn't operate under my service until he's sober. If you don't like it, take it up with the Chief of Staff, Eve."

"That would be real convenient for you, wouldn't it, Ramsey? Flipping conspiracy this is," Ian argued.

"No....of course not, two DWIs in a month's time isn't anything. The fact that he showed up during a trauma looking like he'd spent the day with Jack Daniels was nothing," Chris explained, "I'm not about to let this drunk anywhere near my patients."

"I'll put you on the surgical service, Ian," Eve sighed as she looked back to him.

"Fine, you do that...with the restriction that he doesn't come anywhere near a cardiac patient, you understand me?"

Chris shook his head before walking down the hall to his office, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He tossed his bag onto the small sofa before looking upwards, "I understand I was a bad guy, okay? But what did I ever do to deserve those two?"

Alison sat at a table in the Port Charles Grille, taking in a deep breath as she thought about what she was doing. What had happened to her life? Everything had seemed so perfect, then boom....no more perfection....huge disaster.

She hated the fact that she had been forced to come home to Port Charles in order to pick up the shambles of her life and create something new. Nana would probably have a field day with this one. She still wielded a nasty tongue lashing when she was upset. Some things never seemed to change.

She looked up as she saw him approaching. She couldn't actually believe this was happening to her.

"It sounds like you really needed my advice, so that's why I'm here. What can I do for you?"

"Well....I...." She paused and held her head in her hands as she braced herself on the table, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Alison sighed before she sat back in her chair and halfway let out a heartbroken laugh, "I'm filing for divorce, and I need your help."

"Oh I don't know," She spoke with tears in her eyes, "The nights I spent alone while he was out having a good time, the empty bank account because he took all the money to Vegas to have a really good time, or maybe it was the fact that I found Jamal in bed with another woman," She said before she put her fingers over her mouth. She took a deep breath, "Look, I don't want anything from him. I don't want anything of our life together. He can take it all. I just want my freedom. I just want out."

"When Nana decided that she'd let me back into the trust fund, I refused. I didn't want any of her money, and I told her so."

"Jamal wouldn't...." She paused, "Well, once upon a time he wouldn't have, but now....I don't know."

Alison sighed as she sat back in her chair, staring into a glass of water before her. She had to find a way to start a new life in this town. She couldn't just hold onto the Barrington name, and she had no desire to be the debutante Nana had always wished her to be. So that left the unpleasant task of finding a good paying job. She frowned as she thought of the prospects before her. She had to find a way to get a job without Nana's help, and soon....the divorce was going to cost money and she didn't want Nana thinking she could solve any of her problems by waving around the Barrington green.

"Multiple gunshot victim, two to the chest, one to the kneecap," Livvie spoke as she moved to the opposite side of the gurney, attending to the wounds.

He slipped into a set of latex gloves before moving in beside her, helping her clamp off an artery, "Who did this to the guy?"

"Gangland shooting apparently," Frank frowned as he retrieved the last of his equipment, "It's getting bad out there."

Chris focused on his work as Eve stepped into the room, snapping her latex gloves into place.

"Afraid not, Dr. Lambert. I'm not going anywhere. This kid has multiple vascular trauma and that puts him under my service."

"Let's not get into a pissing contest, Eve. I really don't care about your ever growing ego and your need to prove yourself. You can prove yourself elsewhere but not on my patients."

"Yes, I will, won't I?" He spoke flatly before looking to Livvie, "How would you like to get into the OR?"

"Go for it, Lambert. I really don't care," He shrugged, "Alright. Let's get this boy up to the OR. Have four units of O negative waiting for us. Page Dr. Scanlon and have him meet us there for a pediatric consult."

The doctors and nurses proceeded down the hall and into the elevator. Eve watched the doors closed with her hands on her hips, and Chris gave her a snide smile. He looked back to his patient and ignored her as the elevator began its ascent.

"I don't have any reason to these days," He shrugged, "She thinks she owns this hospital. She can think again."

Livvie and Chris stepped off the elevator and proceeded to the OR to save their patient.

Alison stepped off the elevator and glanced around. It had been so long since she'd been here. Nothing about the place had changed, only the people walking around the hospital. At least some faces were still familiar....

"I'm looking for a job actually. You wouldn't happen to know if the hospital needs a great clerk anywhere, would you?"

Alison took a deep breath, "It could be worse. If Livvie can find a way to get along with him, I can too."

Eve took a deep breath, "You should speak with him when he gets out of surgery. He and Livvie should be back down here any time now."

Alison nodded before Eve gave her a polite farewell and went about her business. Alison sat on the couch in the lobby and silently waited for her potential boss. She didn't know if she could work with Chris, but at least it would be an income.

"That was the coolest thing I've ever seen," Livvie mused, "I can't believe you did that clamp and run in such little time."

"I'm a pro," Chris said proudly as he walked over to the nurse's desk. He picked up a chart and began shifting through papers when Alison spotted them.

Chris allowed his eyes to drift from his chart to give her a once over, "Alison Barrington. Wow, it's been a long time since I've seen you."

"Sure," He said as he gathered the chart he was working on, "Why don't we go down to my office?" When Alison nodded, Chris turned back to Livvie, "Order the labs for our patient and tell the lab to put a rush on them."

"Well, what can I do for you Ms. Barrington?" Chris asked as he sat at his desk.

"It's actually Mrs. Woods now," Alison said then stopped, "No, wait. Barrington is fine. Actually, how about we just stick with Alison?"

"I need a job, and I've heard you're in need of a research assistant. I've got great references if you need them and experience," She spoke as she extended a resume to him.

Chris half laughed, "It's not the best paying job you could have, but it's not the worst either. It does come with benefits though. Any of this sound unreasonable?"

"Then you can start tomorrow if you're really interested. It's mostly just pulling old medical articles for me. That won't bore you to death, will it?"

"You can use this office when I'm not with a patient, and there are plenty of rooms in the medical library that you're welcome to reserve if you need them."

"It's about surgical recovery time involving some different methods of open heart surgery. I'm investigating a new technique that has yet to be attempted in the U.S.," Chris explained as he sorted through some papers, "This is a proposal for the study. You can take that with you and just glance over it so you know a little about what you're looking up for me."

Chris shrugged with a smile, "Then I look forward to working with you," He spoke as he shook her hand lightly.

"Thanks, I do too," Alison responded with a light smile before she left the office. She'd never expected to get a job this quickly, nor had she expected it to be with Chris Ramsey of all people. She definitely had to have a talk with Livvie.

"So you're going to be working with Chris, huh?" Livvie asked as she placed the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

Alison nodded as she finished sipping her cola, "Yeah. He needed a research assistant, and I needed the job."

"He's been looking for a good research assistant for a while. Don't know why. It's not like he'd ever have the time to read those articles anyway," Livvie shrugged as she took a handful of popcorn.

"What do you mean?" Alison asked as she watched her friend, "And explain something else to me. Why, after everything he did to you, are you like friendly with him?"

"I doubted it too. I really did," Livvie shrugged, "But even Jack sees it. He and Chris are friendly now when they never would have been before. They actually act like brothers."

"I think losing his wife might have done it," Livvie paused, "Or maybe it's being a single father to a baby girl."

"Father? Wife? Whoa, back up. Explain that entire story there. You left a lot out," Alison pointed out as her interest was piqued.

"You know that Chris left Port Charles not long after Julie came back and finished wrecking what little life he had here. He went to Llanview, and he rebuilt his life. Apparently, he met a woman named Kelly Cramer and fell in love with her. It took them a while to actually get together, but once they did, it was magical. That's when Henry Ramsey came along."

"The man who said he was Chris and Jack's father. He's crazy," Livvie explained with a shudder, "He thought Chris owed him something, and it must have been something almost priceless."

"Because Henry took something priceless from Chris. Kelly was nine months pregnant with their daughter. Henry kidnapped Kelly and held her hostage until Chris paid a ransom that Henry felt was sufficient."

"Oh no," Alison spoke as she watched Livvie's expression darken further as the story continued.

"Chris did everything he could to save Kelly. But Henry would have the last laugh. Kelly went into labor and gave birth to Rose. That's their daughter. Rose was a healthy little girl, but Kelly was hemorrhaging. Henry wouldn't seek medical attention for her and led Chris on a wild goose chase. By the time they found Kelly, it was too late."

"Bo," Livvie started, "Their real father," She explained, "Was there with Chris when he found Kelly. He said that Kelly was alive, but she was so weak she could barely open her eyes. Chris held her as she died. Their last words to each other were about how much they loved each other."

"Henry had taken Rose. He was going to sell her on the black market. Fortunately, Jack and Chris found him in time and saved Rose."

"He's in Statesville prison. He's got a life sentence for murder, kidnapping, assault, you name it. But it doesn't fix the damage that was done."

"Chris didn't stay in Llanview but a few months after that. He moved back to Port Charles with Rose. That was just six months ago."

"Rose is nine months old, and she is adorable, Alison. Chris is a good father to her."

Livvie nodded, "Though he'd die before he'd let anyone help him. He's very proud that way."

"It's terrible to think about," Livvie frowned, "But they say everything happens for a reason. If that's so, I guess everyone is still looking for the reasons behind what happened to Chris."

"You realize that you're a lucky girl, Rose?" Jack asked as he bounced his niece lightly on his knee, "You took all your good traits from your mother."

Chris half laughed, "And here I thought you were about to give me a compliment."

"You should probably get out and have some fun, Chris. It wouldn't hurt you, you know?"

"I don't have time, Jack. Between taking care of Rose and my duties at the hospital, I don't have time to have fun."

"Chris, you need to make time. You know that Kevin and Lucy are hosting a Spring Dance over at the Port Charles Hotel. Maybe you should go."

"Jack, just stop. I don't want to be sociable, okay? It's enough that I have my daughter."

"At least you warned me," Chris sighed as he reached for his daughter. Rose hurried into her father's arms and patted his cheek gently. Chris met her eyes, "Do you think Uncle Jack is trying to bully me?"

Rose looked at Jack and giggled when he made a funny face at her. She hid her face in her father's shoulder as Chris lightly petted her back.

"Yeah, we had to save this twelve year old who was full of bullets. It was awful."

"I heard about the shooting. The entire precinct was buzzing about it. Apparently they caught the guys who did it. Sixteen year olds," Jack frowned.

"I don't know, Chris. I really don't. But at least we're trying to do the right thing. We're on the right side of things," Jack encouraged his brother before his pager went off, "Okay.....I just had to open my mouth, didn't I?" He checked the number and smiled, "My wife beckons."

"Yeah well," Jack shrugged, "Tell you what....why don't you bring Rose with you and we'll have dinner at the house tomorrow?"

"Why don't you run that by Livvie first?" Chris patted his daughter gently on the back.

Chris watched his brother leave before he glanced down to Rose who slept soundly on his shoulder. He smiled, "Sweet Dreams, Baby Girl."