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A Letter To My Children:
Two years. It doesn't really sound like a great length of time in the long run, but it seemed like a lifetime while I was away. Being away from my husband, my daughter, my father, my sisters, my family, it was so difficult and every day seemed like four. But it was the best thing that I could have done for myself.
Leaving Chris had been the most difficult experience of my life. He was the true love of my life. I asked myself every day that I was away why I had left, but the same answers kept coming back to haunt me.
The day I left Chris, I went out with the intention of finding myself. I had lost so much of my life within a few short months that I wasn't even sure who I was anymore. I was determined to figure out my fears, my thoughts, my hopes and dreams for myself when I left. I called Scott that night from Llanview. I told him where I was and not to worry about me, because I was going to be just fine. But that was a lie. Within two weeks, I was in a mental institution seeking therapy for a mental breakdown. I truly had lost myself.
My doctors contacted Scott and brought him to the institution where I was staying. We had a long talk about my life and family. He wanted to tell Chris where I was, but I knew that if I let him see me that way....I'd never be able to get back what I wanted with him. I did ask Scott to bring Jordan to see me, but he had to promise not to tell Chris. He agreed and brought Jordan to see me almost every weekend. Within two months, I was ready to stand on my feet again while attending therapy. I spent another six months in outpatient therapy until finally my doctors were ready to release me from their care.
Getting back to my life wasn't easy, but I found a research position at a prestigious hospital in Manhattan. I moved into an apartment of my own and Scott continued to bring Jordan to see me for visits. My little girl was growing up so fast and it hurt me not to be able to see her every day, but I also knew that it was better for her if I had a setback and better for me if I could deal with my own life first.
Jordan brought me news about the goings on in Port Charles, mostly to do with her father and her little brother. Chris and Eve had a son, Alex. He was a healthy little boy and Jordan just fell in love with him immediately. Jordan didn't like Eve very much, but Alex was another story all together. She said that she and her dad liked to play with Alex and they would all fall asleep together on the sofa after watching a late night movie.
Eve didn't stay in Chris' heart or bed very long. Scott told me that before Alex was born, Chris and Eve became inseparable, but once the baby was born, they separated for good. Eve began dating Mac Scorpio and Chris remained friends with Eve for the sake of the baby. Being the wonderful father that he is, Chris took Alex home with him every opportunity he could get. I had expected no less of him.
The latest firecracker to drop on the Baldwin clan was Serena's boyfriend. Scott was never going to go easy on Serena when she finally started dating, but Serena didn't help matters when she started dating Lucky Spencer. Scott hit the roof, and needless to say there were several altercations between the father/son combo of the Spencers and Scott. He wasn't about to watch his little girl date a Spencer. But Serena wasn't going to let Dad control her life either. She had other plans which made everyone's life a lot more complicated.
Back in my life though, I had become a part time lecturer at the local medical school. While it wasn't my intention, I began to receive offers to speak at medical conventions across the country. Deciding that it couldn't really hurt, I began to do a few conventions here and there just to see how I liked it. I completely fell in love with the experience and I found myself being offered larger conventions with huge audiences. I had always avoided them, but just this once, I decided to speak at a convention. It was on my territory in Manhattan and I felt like I was on my home playing field. If it didn't work out, at least I could say that I was at home with support when I discovered that fact. Little did I know that one convention, one appearance, would be enough to open my world again to the one thing I'd needed for two years......my husband.
This is the story of how things came together. This is the story of our Restoration.
With All My Love,
Mom (Karen)