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Karen stepped out onto the balcony and took in a deep breath as she heard the balcony doors closing behind her. He was really here. She wasn't dreaming. It was really happening. There was no more hiding. She lifted her fingers to her lips which were still tingling from his kiss. Yes, he was definitely here.
She turned slightly to face him. God he was handsome. Why couldn't he age horribly? Why couldn't he be disgusting and wrinkled terribly at this point? Why did he still have to be so devestatingly handsome? Why did he still make her want to throw her arms around him and kiss him? Why was she letting him have this effect on her?
Chris slipped his hands into his pockets in a very simple manner. He smiled at her and his eyes seemed to penetrate straight into her soul. Her breath caught in her throat as she met his eyes, feeling him stare directly into her.
"Yeah, me too," He said calmly as he watched her, "I'm feeling a bit awkward as well."
"Why do I doubt that?"
"I don't know, Karen," He said with a frown, "It turns out I don't know much about you at all."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I never expected to wake up alone in our bed. I never expected that one perfect night to be the last. Crazy me, but I thought we were fixing things."
"Chris, a lot happened that you don't understand," Karen said as she turned away from him again.
"What I don't understand is how
you could leave without telling me. What I don't
understand is how you could leave
our little girl behind. Leaving me? Fine, I did more than enough
to deserve it. But what did Jordan do?"
"Nothing," She replied tearfully, "And I didn't leave her behind. Scott's been bringing her to see me."
"I see," He spoke tightly, "And you couldn't even tell me? At least arrange for some sort of visitation with me? Why? Does it bother you that much to see me? Am I really such a sore spot for you?"
"Chris," She spoke his name as she turned back to face him and the tears finally slipped, "When I left, I was very sick and lost. I suffered a nervous breakdown. I had to be institutionalized. I couldn't face myself much less you. I'd already let you down so much. I couldn't do that to you again."
"Karen, you never let me down," Chris said as he watched her, "I had no idea that you were so far progressed."
"I didn't either...at least not until after I'd been in therapy for a few weeks," She said wiping tears, "But I survived. I got through it all, pulled myself together and survived. It's still not easy, but every little bit helps, you know."
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let me help you?" He asked her, at a total loss for answers.
"Chris," Karen said crossing her arms against the slight chill in the hair, "How could I ask that of you? I pushed you away so many times before," She said feeling the tears trying to choke her, "I pushed you right into the arms of another woman. So how could I dare to ask you to keep holding me up and put your life on hold? You had Jordan who trusted you implicitly. You had your son about to be born. I couldn't take you from that."
"You should have asked me," Chris said lightly as he reached out to ease his hands over her shoulders, "Karen, I'm here now. Can you at least explain to me what happened? I want to hear about your life."
"Why? Why would you care about what's going on with me?"
"Because you're my wife," He said gently wiping tears from her cheek, "And tomorrow, it'll be twelve years since you made me the happiest man in the world."
"Chris," She spoke covering his hand with hers as he held her cheek tenderly.
"I just want you to talk to me, Karen. Let me know what's happened to you. Maybe it'll finally give me a clue as to what happened to us," He said urging her forward into his gentle embrace as he held her to him.
"Why? Why are you here? Why are you being so understanding?" She sobbed lightly as she held onto him, remembering how his arms felt around her. All the memories came flooding back, wave after wave of her life with Chris, passing over her, and pushing her further into his arms.
He moved his fingers into her hair, holding her in a tender embrace, "Because I love you. No amount of time can change that. I miss what we had, but most of all, I miss you."
She took a step back from his arms
and looked back to his eyes. There was so much
more to be said, but there was
so much more that she didn't want to say. She wiped tears from her
cheeks with shaky hands, "We can't go back, you know."
"Who would want to?" Chris asked watching her try to recover herself before he shifted his stance and spoke up again, "Is there someone else in your life? Is that why you're reluctant to let me in?"
"No," She shook her head, meeting his eyes as if she were appalled at the very idea. And she was. She was in love with Chris as she always had been, and she didn't ever want that to change, "There would never be anyone else. I love you," She said then realized that the truth she'd tried to keep to herself, the truth she'd been fighting for two years had just passed her lips and could never be taken back.
Chris met her eyes before he eased her lips to his and wrapped his arms around her. The gentle night breeze danced around them, but they didn't notice. Nothing could have taken them away from the perfect moment they were sharing. Karen felt as if her heart were about to burst in her chest from the joy, excitement, and confusion pulsing through her veins.
As their lips parted, Chris held Karen close to him, resting his forehead against hers, "Can we go somewhere? And just talk?"
"I....I think I'd like that," She said in a tight voice as she relaxed into his touch, "There's so much I want to say to you. So much that I'm afraid of."
"There's nothing to be afraid of, Karen. We've already lost what was there. We have nothing left to lose. Now we can only find each other again."
"I don't want to expect anything here. I don't want to be disappointed."
"Then only expect a long talk with an old friend," He suggested offering her a light smile.
"You're a lot more than that," She said lightly as she met his eyes, "I don't know if I can detach myself that far."
"Then how about we just sit down and talk like we used to? Surely there's a coffee shop around here where we can go and talk like we used to just outside Port Charles."
She smiled, "Yeah, I think I might know of one that you'd like."
"Karen?"
"What?" She asked looking up to him.
"It's good to be here with you."
Karen's smile grew, "You're doing it already."
"Doing what?"
"Turning on the charm."
"Is that such a bad thing?" He asked with a light smile as he put his arm around her.
"I suppose not, but just don't expect any big results from your work there," She smiled as she leaned against him.
"I only expect you to listen to
me," Chris spoke softly, “Let’s go inside and excuse
ourselves from this reception.
We’ll go talk, and see if we can’t come to some sort of understanding.”
Karen nodded as she allowed him to lead her back into the reception. She took in a deep breath as she felt the prying eyes of those she had worked with over the last year, those who hadn’t known about her past, those who hadn’t known she was married. She could already hear their questions, knowing that she would be assailed when she went into work tomorrow.
Chris led her directly to Andrew who was whispering to Lisa before turning his attention towards the interesting couple.
Andrew began smiling as he watched them, “This is an interesting development. I had no idea you two knew each other much less were married.”
“We like to keep things interesting,”
Chris flashed a brief smile at the questioning
doctors, “Speaking of which, Karen
and I are going to excuse ourselves for the evening.”
“Perhaps we could all have dinner together tomorrow night,” Lisa suggested.
“I....” Karen began before Chris cut her off.
“Thank you for the invitation,”
Chris smiled, “We’ll have to discuss the details
tomorrow,” He continued before
looking to Karen, “Are you ready?”
Karen nodded silently, flashing a brief smile to Andrew and Lisa before she walked with Chris from the hotel. They slipped into a limosine which drove them away from the hotel.
Karen looked out the dark window, trying to decide what exactly she could say to Chris. She wasn’t sure she could trust anything he said or even if she could trust herself with him. Chris had a way of charming her, making her drop her guard.....just as he had with that kiss.
That kiss.....why had he kissed her like that? He said he loved her, but Karen knew that much of what Chris said couldn’t be trusted. She had trusted him before and been let down. But...still....
Hope continued to spring eternal within her heart. She wanted to believe that two years had changed him. That somehow, he could be the man that she had first fallen in love with. But the protective side of her psyche warned her that he had proven that man was long gone by having a child with another woman.
Karen felt his hand upon her shoulder before she turned to look at him. He lightly swept his finger over her skin before he spoke.
“What are you thinking?” He asked softly, the light from the street lamps casting a soft glow over his face.
Karen saw a glimmer within his dark brown eyes before she swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke, “I’m wondering if you can be trusted.”
Chris flashed her his million dollar smile, the same smile that had captured her heart years ago, the same one that made her hate him two years ago because it was so duplicitious, “Of course you can trust me. I’m your husband, remember?” He asked casually.
Karen felt her heart skip a beat within her chest at his very cryptic answer, knowing that there was no ‘of course’ about anything.