The Memory Remains -- Chapter 4

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Chris walked into the Recovery Room needing a tall cup of strong coffee. Being chief resident had one major drawback....early mornings. He hated being up at the crack of dawn when he had practically just let his head hit the pillow. Not that it mattered really. He probably wouldn't have slept much if he had gotten to bed early. Memories and false hopes kept torturing him around the clock.

He sat at a nearby table and ordered a cup of strong coffee without sugar or cream. He didn't want anything buffering him from a devastating dose of caffeine. He needed that substance in his blood stream in order for him to march into the hospital with his usual arrogant demeanor intact.

Gabriella came out of the back and smiled brightly as she walked over to his table, "Good morning."

Chris slowly directed one of his tired eyes towards her, "Don't be so chipper. It's disgusting."

She frowned as she sank into a chair across the table from him, "You are not a morning person, are you?"

"Not this morning, no," He said as his steaming cup of coffee arrived. He quickly perched his head over top of the piping hot liquid as if he could absorb the caffeine through the steam.

"Didn't get much sleep huh?" Gabriella watched him as he began to sip from the cup as if it were his savior.

"Because you're just a ray of sunshine here," She replied in an equally sarcastic tone, "I tell you what....I'll come back when you're on your second pot."

"No...you can stay. Just don't beam that smile so much. It's blinding this early in the morning," He said half closing his eyes as he rubbed his temple.

"You need a vacation, Chris. I mean besides giving the rest of us a break, it might be good for you too."

"Gee, for a second there, I thought you actually cared," He teased without smiling.

"Oh, that just means that everyone has had too much time on their hands to gossip about me. I'll have to make sure that people stay busy with their work and spend less time talking about me."

"No," He said in an equally firm manner, "I've worked too hard to get this far, and I am not going to let it slip through my fingers. And most importantly, I do not need to take a vacation. I'm fine."

Chris focused on her and set his jaw, "Time to go to work," He said avoiding the conversation as he placed the lid on his coffee and tossed money on the table before walking out of the Recovery Room.

Gabriella sat at the table for a moment, taking a deep breath as she wondered if he was really worth helping now. But this, like everything else, was just going to take one day at a time. She couldn't give up on him, not when he so obviously had.

She stood from the table and started to walk out of the establishment when Joe opened the door. She met his dark eyes and lost her ability to speak for a second. God...why was she still hung up on this moron? She forced a polite smile, "Good morning, Joe."

"Good morning," Joe smiled, showing his charming nature that had lured her in to begin with. Why did it still have to work?

"Nonsense. It's still a while before the next shift. Why don't you have breakfast with me?" He asked politely, "I know that you and I aren't close like we almost were, but I'd like to think we're still friends. Please?"

She looked back at him and sighed, not sure why she wanted to do this, but knowing somewhere deep in her heart that she couldn't say no to him. There was just something about him that drew her in.

"I'll even pay," He added, "Come on. It can't get much better than that, can it?" Joe asked with a smile.

She relented with a smile, "Okay, just this once though. I may never get you to pay for another meal. Have to take what I can get," She teased.

He placed his hand on her shoulder and directed her towards his favorite table, "Then breakfast it is. I could use some good company right now."

"No, no more than usual," He answered, "I just.....things have been very difficult lately, and I think I owe you an explanation as to why."

"Yes I do, Gabi. Let me explain. You made me believe that I could feel again. When Karen and I broke up, I thought that all my dreams went with her. I had spent most of my life loving her and wanting us to be together. I didn't know what my life was for after she shut me out. But you," He said reaching over to touch her hand, "You opened the door for me and let the light back in. You made me realize that if I cared for someone I just had to show them how much I cared."

Gabriella watched him and wasn't quite sure what to say. She paused as she looked to his hand holding hers, "So you did...with Jill."

"No, I didn't," He shook his head, "I've done this all wrong. I should have been honest with you of all people from the start."

"I'm pretty confused myself," He admitted, "But there's one thing that I am not confused about."

"I care about you Gabriella. I care about you more than I have for anyone in a very long time. That's why you deserve the truth. All of it."

"Then why don't you just tell me, Joe? Please just let me know what is tearing you apart this way," She urged.

Joe looked around and noticed that the small restaurant was becoming crowded, "Not here. Have dinner with me tonight. I'll tell you everything then. I promise."

She didn't know if she could trust him. More than that, she didn't know if she could risk her heart this way a second time. She squeezed his hand gently and smiled lightly as her heart answered for her, "Dinner tonight, Joe."

Shelly walked down the stairs, pulling her thick dark hair back into a pony tail as she chewed on her scrunchy. She spotted Kevin across the room and immediately rolled her eyes. It was becoming something of a instinctive reaction to his presence. She finished securing her hair before she stepped across the room.

Kevin smiled politely, "Good morning Shelly. Eve had to run to the hospital early this morning to check on a patient. She should be home around noon."

"Oh, isn't that sweet? Did you think I would need a baby-sitter or something?" She asked sarcastically as she sank onto the couch, "Let me just ease your mind. I can take care of myself."

"No one is doubting that. Eve and I just felt that you might be more comfortable if you had someone with you until you're settled."

"Care to express any of the emotions you are feeling?" He asked taking a seat across from her.

"Is this what you did with Eve? Play shrink and get her to reveal herself to you?"

"Ah," Shelly nodded with a light smile, "She let you see what she wanted you to see. You don't know her."

"I know everything about her. She's a beautiful woman inside and out. And I'm very proud to call her my wife."

She laughed softly, "You don't know her at all. You only think you do. If Eve had really opened her heart to you.....you'd know what she's really about. But I can tell that you don't know my sister as well as you think you do."

"Then why don't you tell me what it is you think she's keeping from me? I love Eve. I want to be the best husband I can be for her."

"I think you want to protect her. I think you care about your sister very much, but in this instance there is nothing to protect her from."

"Not even herself? You see, Kevin, you're just a phase. And she is going to grow out of it."

"You're right. True love isn't a phase. But I've seen Eve do this before. I've seen her pour herself into a relationship, lose what she loves and who she really is in whatever loser she decided to pick up. This time...that loser just happens to be you."

"No, I'm not wrong, Kevin. I've known my sister for much longer than you've been with her. Sleeping with her doesn't make you an expert on her. But I know Eve. I know who she really is and what she's like when she is really and truly happy. She's only pretending now. And it would be best for you and for her if you'd prepare yourself for that. This isn't going to last. I promise you that."

"You're threatened by how close Eve and I are to one another," Kevin said analyzing the situation.

"No, I'm threatened by losing my sister, and I'm watching her slip away again. I won't let her do that to herself again."

"If you're really as deeply in love as you repeatedly claim to be, what do you really have to be afraid of?" Shelly asked with a smile before leaving Kevin by himself, alone with his thoughts....and his fears.

Eve pulled the scrub top over her head and swept her hair back gently as she walked out of the showers and into the on call room. She sighed as she sank onto the sofa and closed her eyes. She hadn't slept at all the night before just knowing that Shelly was planning something.

Karen opened the door and stepped inside. She frowned as she sank onto the couch beside Eve.

"Nothing....like normal," She answered, "Eve, why am I such a loser when it comes to men? Why can't I just find him...you know, the one?"

"I thought you had with the rebellious Dr. Thornhart," Eve answered, "What did he do?"

"In General Hospital. She's going to be working here now. She's in the same program with Ian, and now she's here."

"Can't I? He didn't tell me, Eve. Then again, it's not like we've been really together so why should he?"

"Karen, I know that you two have been getting together. You two just.....click. And you can't pass that up."

"There's nothing to pass up, Eve. Absolutely nothing. Ian and I are not meant to be and the history here just proves it. In fact, I'm not meant to be with anyone. I've figured that one out and I'm just gonna sit at home by myself and age gracefully. Maybe I'll get me some cats and just become the cat lady."

"Karen," Eve stopped her, "Would you listen to yourself? You know that there's a guy out there just waiting to sweep you off your feet and make you the happiest woman on the planet."

"Karen, listen to me. There is going to be a guy who will love you, and he'll probably be where you least expect him."

"Eve, that's got about as much of a chance of happening as that door opening and Prince Charming walking in to smile at me and make my day."

The door opened and Chris walked in smiling with his coffee mug in hand. Karen and Eve looked at one another for a moment before Karen burst into laughter and covered her face.

"Did I miss the joke?" Chris asked walking by them as he went back towards the coffee pot.

"Not at all Prince Charming," Eve commented before winking at Karen and walking towards the door.

"Eve...where..." Karen started as the door closed. She sighed as she looked over at Chris and couldn't help but smile.

"Do I even need to ask here?" Chris asked as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

"Okay," He said sipping his coffee and dismissing the previous subject as he walked over to the computer. He logged into the mainframe and began reading over some notes. Karen looked over to him and couldn't help but laugh again.

"I doubt it," She said with a smile as she got up from the sofa and walked across the room to pour herself a cup of coffee.

He watched her for a minute and teased, "Did I say you could have any of my coffee?"

"Well considering this is the third cup I've seen you with, I'd say you needed help finishing off this pot," She said as she took a sip of her coffee, "But if you're going to be difficult about it.."

"No, not all. Go ahead and drink up. If I drink any more I won't get any work done today. I'll be stuck in the john all day."

Karen laughed, "Okay, thank you for that urinary update, Chris. I could have lived without that."

"Least I could do to lighten your day there," He said as he smiled and turned back to the computer, "I saw your buddy this morning. He wasn't in the greatest mood."

"Ian. What happened?" He asked looking back to her, "Did Joe go blab about what he thinks is going on?"

"Yes you did. You always do," She accused as she rolled her eyes, "Don't give me that innocent act, Chris. I've been on the down side of your scheming once or twice, you know."

"Yeah well....I'd apologize but you'd just throw that back in my face here too."

"Don't waste your energy Chris. There is no way I'd ever believe anything you had to say anyway. I know better," She said picking up a notebook in front of her.

"You know nothing," He said spinning around in his chair, "But you and the rest of this town have no idea what I'm really about and I don't give a damn anymore. What makes you think that you know everything about me when you know absolutely nothing?"

"I didn't say I did. It's just my experience with you is that you're as two faced as they come. I know better than to trust you."

"Fine, believe what you like," He said turning back in his chair and typing at the computer once more.

"Fine, I will," She said then let her frustration get the better of her, "You know, what makes you think you're such an expert about the rest of us? Who really gave you all the information either? You haven't been so willing to let any of us know you as all you've ever been interested in is alienating all of us. You've pushed and manipulated and blackmailed and done everything you could to make sure that none of us wanted to get to know you. So don't think that we've come up with these ideas all on our own, Chris. You've planted quite a bit of them with us."

Chris turned to listen to this sermon and he couldn't help but grin in his usual wicked way as he began to step towards her. He opened his mouth to speak when she continued.

"Don't. Don't say one word, Chris. I'm not done yet," Karen said as she vented, "How dare you just stand there and say that we know nothing? You've been showing us this slimy sleazy black-hearted side of you for as long as we've all been together in this hospital. We know what you're about whether you want to admit it or not. So don't you dare stand there and just try to blame all the rest of us for your black deeds."

"Fine. I won't," He said with a light shrug, "But what I will say is that unlike other people in this hospital I don't tip toe around everyone else's problems and pretend they don't exist. I just come right out in the open and let them hang as they may."

"It means that you don't mind using all our problems against us, but you can't even be man enough to just come out and say that you're in pain over losing Julie."

"Yes it is," She said reaching out to grab his arm as he tried to turn away, "It most definitely is the point Chris. You can dish it out, but you certainly can't take it."

"As a matter of fact," She started as the door opened, and Ian stepped inside. Without another thought, Karen wrapped her arms around Chris and sealed her lips to his. She moved her fingers into his hair and moved her body closer to his.

Chris was shocked by the sudden change in Karen's demeanor, but with the kiss, he realized there was more to her actions than met the eye. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her close as he continued the kiss.

Ian's eyes fell upon them and instantly his anger and rage boiled. What the hell was this? He stepped forward, "What exactly is going on here?"

Karen acted as if she were surprised as she jerked her eyes around to see Ian and held onto Chris, "Ian....I....I don't know what to say."

"You lied to me, Karen. You lied," Ian said in anger before spinning and slamming out of the room.

Karen looked back to Chris and took a step back before looking back to his eyes. The question was firmly implanted in his dark eyes, but she wasn't ready to give any answers. She looked away, covering her lips with her fingertips and walking out the door.

Rachel sorted through the suits in the ladies department at Wyndhams. She needed something highly influential for this conference that she would be going to with Kevin. She had to make a better impression than he did. It was essential to her master plan that Kevin never got to upstage her again.

She held up two jackets comparing them before finally putting them both back on the rack and selecting a third instead. She walked around the corner and bumped into a older man. He reached out to steady her and smiled.

"I don't think that's so," He said watching her for a moment, "You don't look like the type who would be careless."

"And what type is it that I look like?" She asked looking back to meet his dark eyes, seeing something familiar about them.

"It's been my profession a time or two," He said with a smile, "I'm sorry about running into you that way."

"No, usually not, but if I'm going to run into someone this way, I'm thankful that it was someone as attractive as you."

"Arrogance," She said looking him over, "You seem very familiar. Do I know you?"

"No," He said shaking his head in the negative, "Not at all. But I think we should get to know one another here."

"No, I don't think so," Rachel declined, "I don't think there is anything we'd have in common."

"On the contrary, we both are the contemplative type. We should contemplate one another."

"Let me fix that," He smiled as he extended his hand, taking her hand in his for a gentle handshake, "My name is Henry," He said kissing the back of her hand gently, "Henry Ramsey."

Rachel watched his eyes and felt a warm rush of triumph as she finally had a way to get to Chris Ramsey.

Ian stormed down the hall, needing to vent his anger and his pain at what he had just witnessed. How could she have done that to him? He had read her so wrong. Karen was just another woman who would use any man only to get what she wanted and only for as long as she needed. How could he have fallen for another woman like that?

He stepped outside the ER doors for a few minutes to catch a breath of the freezing air outside. He closed his eyes and had to fight the urge to scream. He'd never been so hurt in his life.....not when he'd been so sure of what he and Karen shared.

He didn't know why he thought she would be different. They hadn't been very intimate with one another. They hadn't even shared one single kiss yet. But she had been different from the start. True, it had been rocky for them as he'd done nothing but come down on her, but since then, things had seemed to flow and just make sense for them. Up until now.

Yesterday things had seemed so promising. He had seen a future in her that he'd been against for a very long time. After his divorce, he'd never dreamed of finding any woman that he'd want to spend the rest of his life with, but Karen had been his light, his hope.

All that was gone now, he sighed as he crossed his arms against the bitter cold. Ian opened his eyes and watched his breath turn into steam in the cold air. He started to back inside when he saw Lindsey come around the corner wrapped in her coat. He narrowed his eyes and knew he'd found a vent for his anger.

"So you found a way to slither out of that hole you slid into," Ian said catching her attention.

Lindsey stopped and got a dry smile on her face, "Ian.....still being the doctor with all the answers?"

"Always," He said slipping his hands into his pockets, "What are you doing here?"

"I've been sent here on the program...just like you," She added, "I'm here to contribute to the community."

"There is nothing you have to contribute. You're only going to turn this place into hell."

"For you..." She smiled as she caught him square in her sights, "Yes, I probably will. I haven't forgotten what you tried to do to me."

"I haven't forgotten what you did to me. I haven't forgotten one thing you did. Not to me and not to our child. I'm not going to let you hurt anyone here the way you did me. If I can help it, you'll never hurt anyone like that again."

"It's not a threat, Lindsey. It's a guarantee. I'll end your career if you slip up even once."

She gave him a bitter look before pushing her way into the ER. Ian stepped inside with a now almost pleasant look upon his face as he watched her storm off through the halls. Karen had witnessed his entrance from the admission desk and caught his eyes.

They looked at one another for a long silent moment. Neither one of them knowing what to say. Karen felt the need to apologize to him for doing something so deceitful, and Ian felt the need to apologize for not being more forthcoming with her. Each one looked at the other wanting to say so much, but saying nothing at all.

Karen felt the need to cry, the need to run over to him and hug him, and tell him that she loved him despite what was going on at this moment. Ian felt the need to gather her in his arms, hold her tightly, and let her know she was the only woman he wanted or needed in his life.

Karen stepped towards him and watched as he did the same. Ian reached out to her with his hand as she took his and met his eyes once more. Just as they each were about to speak, Frank pushed open the ER doors pulling a gurney in with him.

Ian squeezed her hand once more before going to attend to the patient. Karen sighed as she had to hold back the tears to get back to her work. She knew she had to find a way to get him alone so she could share the truth with him. Even though she'd fought her own feelings on the matter, she couldn't lose Ian and it was now that she finally realized that truth.

The Memory Remains

By: Tona

Chapter Four