A Question Of Lust

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Another long hot summer night in Port Charles. That was all it amounted too. No rain, no wind, nothing. Just still air and heat that was unmatched. Weather reports hadn't predicted any end in sight and no rain for at least another week. Every air conditioner in Port Charles was blasting cool air inside while the heat outside sent people in droves to pools, water fountains or the lake, demanding some relief from the scorching temperatures outside.

Eve Lambert stood on the docks, catching the hint of a breeze that swept across the lake. It wasn't even enough to disturb the sails on the boats that were docked, but it was a reminder that something cooler existed elsewhere. She held her dress jacket in her hand, wondering if she really wanted to go through with this or not. Tonight was supposed to be a new beginning....something she'd wanted for so long. It was supposed to be about making a life for herself...something she'd fought to make happen. But why did she get the feeling that something was still very wrong with what she was about to do?

Matt Harmon sat on the sofa in his apartment directly in front of an oscillating fan, trying to stay cool. He looked around the apartment and shook his head. This was definitely not like him at all. Papers stacked high everywhere or in puddles on the floor from crashing. Containers from take-out food sat around and empty soda bottles were strewn among them. How had he let things get this bad? He had asked himself that question over a million times since Ellen had left and it was always her name that came up as an answer.....

Chris Ramsey loosened his tie and sat on the ledge of the window, sinking back against the plastered frame. The air conditioning was struggling to keep the rooms cool, but was doing nothing for the hallways. The air was thick and hard to breath with the heat. But he knew the heat was the least of the many reasons he was feeling uncomfortable. Being married to Julie had seemed like a good thing while she was in Ferncliff and remained so for a brief fleeting moment after she'd been released. But now things were no where near the wedded bliss they tried to show in public. They could barely stand to be in the room with each other much less act like they were a loving couple in front of lawyers and social workers in order to gain custody of Christina. No, things had not gone the way he had planned....

Ellen Burgess stood at the door and reached up to knock but kept her hand away. Why was she doing this to herself? He wasn't going to want to speak with her much less see her with the way things had been left. She had betrayed him and then she had left without a word. No matter what good reasons she had behind leaving, now they all seemed moot. Everything seemed moot without Matt. He had given her something that she'd needed, something that seemed worthwhile. He had loved her and she had betrayed that love. Would he even be willing to let her get one word in? She didn't know and she was fairly certain that he would slam the door in her face, but she had to try.....She had to try something.

Fragile
Like a baby in your arms
Be gentle with me
I'd never willingly
Do you harm

Ellen gave in and knocked on the door, praying that Matt would give her a chance to say something...anything. She knew that her spine had kind of evaporated in the past, but somewhere along the way, she'd found it again and was about to declare it in a major way.

Matt looked up from the cleaning he had started when he heard the knock at the door. He wasn't expecting anyone and if it was some door to door salesman, he wondered if he could claim temporary insanity due to heat as a defense. He placed his hand on the door knob and took a breath, wondering who was going to give him the "moving-on" speech this time.

Ellen watched the door nervously, wondering and hoping that Matt was at home and that he wouldn't ignore the rapping on the door. After a moment with no response, she rapped on the door again, wanting to see his face.

Matt sighed in frustration as he turned the knob and pulled the door open. He looked up slowly from her leather clad feet up her legs to the soft blue material of her dress before finally reaching her dark eyes and he knew that he had to be dreaming. The heat had obviously gotten to him. He would have to drink more fluids.

"Matt?" Ellen started not quite sure of what to say judging by his current reaction to her which was one of shock.

"Ellen?" He asked realized that she really was here before him. He moved forward, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face at her waist, "It's really you."

"It's really me, Matt. I'm here," She said shakily as she moved her fingers into his hair holding him to her. He looked up at her and she touched his face looking at the tired look in his eyes and feeling as if she'd placed it there.

"Where have you been? You left and . . . . . I was beginning to think the worst. No word, no call. . . no anything."

"I'm sorry, Matt. I didn't have a choice. There are some things I need to tell you. Things you need to hear. Things that forced me to leave."

"You could always tell me anything Ellen," He said before his thoughts strayed to Sebastian, "At least I tried to make you feel like you could."

"You don't know how many times I wish I had told you everything. Then I never would have left. I never would have been away from you," She said touching his lips with a finger before meeting his eyes again, "I've missed you Matt."

Matt looked into her eyes and saw the fear reflected beneath the surface. That alone told him something was wrong....even now that Ellen was back, something was terribly wrong, "Ellen, what's wrong?"

She turned her eyes away from him and took a breath, not quite sure how she was going to explain this one to Matt or to anyone else. Maybe Livvie......or Rachel as she now called herself...had been right. Maybe no one would understand why she'd done what she'd done. She looked back at Matt and sighed. She had to try. Matt was the one person who was mostly likely to give her the benefit of the doubt, "I have to tell you something about the time I've been gone. It's something that is going to change everything in our lives."

"Ellen, you can tell me. At this point, anything is better than your going away. I couldn't take that again."

"Matt, you don't understand. This is going to affect both of our lives. I've had time to adjust but you....well, you're going to need some time.

"Ellen, at least I can look at you. I didn't even know where you were or what had happened to you. Tell me. It's better than not knowing anymore." He said as he led her to the sofa and he kept her hand in his, "Tell me."

But just like a child
You make me smile
When you care for me
And you know

"Pregnant?" He asked looking up at her, "Pregnant?" He asked as if not understanding.

"At the time, I was scared. You were still so angry about my time with Sebastian and if I had told you....You wouldn't have been prepared to listen."

He looked at her and tried to judge the look in her eyes, "Are you trying to tell me that you had Sebastian's baby while you were gone?"

She met his eyes and touched his cheek, "No Matt. I'm trying to tell you that I had your son."

Chris walked back down the hall and stood at the nurse's station glancing over a chart. Tonight was so many things. It was his last chance to do something to save himself. It was the last chance to finally speak up about what he'd thought and felt for years. He just had to figure out a way to get Eve alone so he could do it.

Eve walked into the hospital, not quite sure why she'd gone there. She was supposed to be at the PC Grille but she just couldn't bring herself to go there. She couldn't bring herself to say something that she'd tried desperately to fight against and lost. She didn't think she'd ever be able to bring herself to tell Kevin that she wasn't in love with him. She thought back to how they'd spent the morning hours:

It's a question of lust
It's a question of trust
It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust
It is all of these things and more
That keep us together

"Oh Eve? Where for art thou?" Kevin called from the sofa as she emerged from the kitchen.

"I'm right here," Eve said with a seductive smile, letting her robe slip off her shoulder slightly.

"And what a wonderful sight to partake of," He said with a grin as he extended his arm and motioned with his index finger for him to join her.

She shook her head in the negative and blew a kiss at him, "I have something more interesting in mind."

She smiled as she let the robe slip from her other shoulder and gathered the material just above her breasts, "Well, since it's just so . . . hot . . . " She breathed in an exaggerated manner, "I thought we might find a . . . interesting . . way of cooling down."

He drew his eyes over her and raised an eyebrow with a grin, "Somehow I doubt cooling down is in the cards for us."

"Why . . . Dr. Collins. . . whatever do you mean?" She said dropping the robe entirely.

Eve sighed as she remembered the next few hours were spent in the bedroom where their entire relationship seemed to take place. She walked to the elevator and pressed the button, leaning into the wall. When had things with Kevin become so dull? She could practically predict what their day would be from the time they woke up in the morning to the time they went to sleep at night. Sex, food, a little work, sex, more food, sex, probably her doing something to disappoint him, making up, making love, falling asleep. It was not the way she had envisioned her perfect relationship to be.

Chris spotted Eve as soon as she stepped off the elevator. She looked stunning in her soft yellow evening gown. He smiled as she walked over to him, "Eve Lambert, you look gorgeous."

He saw the look in her eye and touched her arm, "Let's go talk. You look like you could use it."

"No...I have to go to the Grille. My party is tonight," She said trying to keep her voice steady but hearing it waver in her throat before the words ever made it out of her mouth.

"Then what's wrong? Come on," He asked leading her down the hall, forcing the issue.

"Okay, that's it," Chris said pulling Eve into a linen room and closed the door behind them.

"You're going to tell me what happened, Lambert, if I have to hold you hostage all night."

She looked at him and saw the determination on his features before she nodded in compliance.

Chris knew it was the moment he'd been fantasizing about for months on months and now that it was here. He didn't have the words. He looked at her for a moment and started again.

"You can't marry him . . . . because he doesn't love you. Not how you should be loved."

"Chris...really," She said trying to tell him that she was going to call off the engagement tonight anyway but he placed finger on her lips.

"Hush before I lose my nerve," He said firmly, "You can't marry him because . . . . well . . . . because I love you Eve. I have since you were with that creep Baldwin, but I just couldn't tell you. You only saw me as good ole' buddy Chris . . . but Eve......I think you and I both know that I'm more than that. And I know that I don't feel that way with you. I love you Eve...." He repeated firmly, finally getting the words out.

She looked at him in shock and surprise that he had just said that to her. She blinked and didn't even know what to say. But Chris knew what to do. He closed the distance between them, drawing her into his arms and kissing her with all the emotion that he'd kept hidden from her before now.

Independence
Is still important for us though (we realize)
It's easy to make
The stupid mistake
Of letting go (do you know what I mean)

"What?" Matt asked looking at her, meeting her eyes, "What did you just say?" He asked for clarification. He'd heard her just fine but didn't believe what he had heard.

"Your son. We have a little boy, Matt," Ellen said waiting for his reaction. She'd planned this a hundred different times but none of them prepared her for telling him this way.

"Our son? You mean . . .. . you were pregnant and you just left?" He asked in shock, "But why?"

"Because you would have had it going through your mind that the baby belonged to Sebastian. I couldn't have lived with that and to be honest, I wasn't even too sure about it myself. It was hard enough facing my own doubts but I couldn't face yours as well."

"So you just run out and deprive me of the right to see my son born?" He asked in shock and in a bit of anger, "How can you be sure he's mine?"

"I had Sebastian's medical records pulled and I compared blood samples. Our son is one hundred percent yours, Matt. And when you see him, you'll understand that even better. He reminds me of you so much."

"Yes," She nodded as the fear in her passed, "I brought him to meet you. I thought I had already wasted enough time. You shouldn't have to miss out on another moment of our son's life."

Matt looked at her in awe of what had just happened. He had been prepared for something shocking about her past, something that would tie her to Rachel Locke, something that would be heinous. Never in his life did he imagine that he would become a father in that instant. He smiled halfway, "What's his name?"

"Phillip. He's a beautiful little boy, Matt," She said with a proud motherly smile, "Do you want to see him?"

Ellen took out her cell phone and called Alice who was waiting outside with Phillip. Ellen met her at the door and took Phillip from her arms. Alice smiled, waved to Matt and left them together for this first moment as a family.

Ellen walked over to Matt and sat down beside him, "Phillip.." She started as she looked at the baby whose eyes were open and looking around a bit, "There's someone very special that I've been telling you about. Your daddy. And he's here and wants to meet you," She said as he cooed at her, lulled by her voice. She held the baby out to Matt who met her eyes and smiled weakly as she placed the child in his arms.

Matt looked down into his son's face as he held him in his arms. The little boy looked up at his father and let out a soft cooing sound. Matt smiled as he squeezed the child gently, "It's very nice to meet you, Phillip." He said memorizing every inch of his son.

My weaknesses
You know each and every one (it frightens me)
But I need to drink
More than you seem to think
Before I'm anyone's

Chris slowly ended the kiss and took a step back from Eve. She was breathless not only from the shock of his kiss but from the pure emotional intensity he poured into it. She looked at him and blinked as she tried to figure out what to say.

He watched her and took a deep breath, trying to slow his pulse from racing. He could still taste her on his lips and he wanted so much more. But if he was going to do this right, he had to take his time.

He nodded, "I do. I am so in love you with you. You don't know what it's been like trying to keep you from finding out."

"What you wanted to hear," He said looking over her face, "You were in love with Kevin. And you didn't want to hear me say that I loved you. You wanted me to tell you that it was okay if you were with Kevin....when all I wanted to tell you was how wrong you two are together."

"What? Excuse me? This from the woman whose spent the past year extolling his many virtues?" Chris asked in confusion.

"I wanted to be in love with him.....I really tried," She said turning her eyes from Chris, "I just wanted something to hold onto. Something sturdy and something I could depend on."

"Eve," He said tilting her chin so her eyes met his again, "You've had that all along. Right here."

She looked into his eyes and had to admit that he was right. She'd always been able to tell him what she needed and depend on him to look out for her. Chris had never failed to be there when she needed him. He'd been there for her through more heartbreak than anyone else and he'd always dusted her off to put her back on her feet.......to run right into the arms of another man, always the wrong one.

She reached out to wrap her arms around him, hugging him tightly, "Chris, I don't deserve you."

"You're right. You deserve better. But," He said pulling her away only far enough to look into her eyes, "I'm willing to be the best I can for you Eve. I'll try to be the man you deserve."

"Don't," She said putting her finger over his lips, "Don't change Chris. I like you just the way you are."

It's a question of not letting
What we've built up
Crumble to dust

He nodded as he looked into her eyes. She moved her finger and pressed her lips to his in a tender kiss.

"Not a problem. We're about this far," He said motioning with his fingers, "From a divorce anyway. This just tips the scales. Gives me extra incentive."

She laughed as she pressed her forehead against his chest, his arms encircling her waist, "Had me going there for a minute Ramsey. I thought I was dreaming."

He laughed softly, "I'm serious Eve. I'd give up all the money of the DL-56 patent if that's what it takes. I don't care about that if I can have you."

She smiled as she felt a tear slip down her cheek, "You really mean that, don't you?"

"I do. You're what I've wanted . . . . what I've needed for a long time, Eve. I'd trade anything to have you."

It is all of these things and more
That keep us together
Kiss me goodbye
When I'm on my own
But you know that I'd
Rather be home

She sighed with a smile as she kissed him once more, "I've needed you so many times and I never even realized why. How have you been so patient?"

She smiled then frowned, "Ugh......I have to go tell Kevin that I'm not going to marry him."

"So you keep telling me. I always knew when you lured me into that closet that you had an ulterior motive."

"Yeah, I mean . . . all I had to do was bat my eyelashes at you and give you a little kiss and you were like putty in my hands."

"Putty?" He asked with a raised eyebrow while cracking a wicked grin, "That's not exactly the adjective that applies."

"I'm just glad you listened to me tonight. I've been wanting to get that out for a very long time, but I wasn't quite sure there was ever a right time."

"There was . . and you just proved it," She said kissing him again, "I should get going."

"You'll meet me at the Recovery Room in a few hours. I want to see you again tonight."

Chris turned around to open the door when the lights twinkled then went completely out. A few seconds passed and a soft yellow emergency light came on directly over the door.

"Black out," He said softly, "Perfect," He reached out to the doorknob and wiggled it but it didn't budge. He laughed softly as he turned around and pressed his back against the door.

"Electric locks on this end of the hospital with keypads. We're stuck in here until the power comes back on."

"Why in the world would a linen room have an electric lock?" She asked rolling her eyes then laughed, "What a fitting moment."

"What idea would that be Lambert?" He said catching the wicked gleam in her eye.

"Come here," She said pulling his tie and catching him in a kiss as she wrapped her arms around him, "Like my idea so far?"

"Oh yes, Chris," She said with a soft smile, "So much more..." She replied kissing him again and showing him every detail of her idea.