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Livvie took a step back, "What? What do you mean you're my father?"
"I'm as stunned by this as you are Livvie," Kevin tried to explain.
"How could you not know? You were with my mother when she died. I was three years old. How could you not know Kevin?"
"She kept you a secret from me, Livvie. I wish I could explain thing and make it seem simple, but the truth is that none of this is simple. Your mother and I had a very complicated relationship full of ups and downs. I can't just tell you that I should have seen the signs because Grace was very good at keeping secrets."
"Obviously," Livvie said furiously, "But you didn't even have any idea that it was possible? Why didn't you tell me that you had a relationship with Grace? Why didn't you tell me any of this earlier?"
"I didn't know. I didn't even suspect, Livvie."
"You should have. My god, Kevin, do you realize that all this time I've been hitting my head against a brick wall looking for my father and you're right here. You should have at least told me that you were considering the possibility."
"I'm sorry, Livvie. Maybe I should have told you."
"No maybes about it. You should have," She said as she glanced around for a moment, finding her purse and moving towards the door.
"Livvie, where are you going?" Lucy asked as she stepped in front of the door, "You can't leave right now."
"The hell I can't. You've kept secrets from me too. Did you ever once think that my search for the truth could use some in it? Did either one of you consider the fact that I would open to the truth? How could you do this and not tell me?"
"We thought we needed to protect you, Livvie."
"I don't need your protection," She said with tears in her eyes as she stormed out the door and slammed it behind her.
Kevin looked to Lucy and threw his hands up, "Great, that's just great. I've scared her away from me."
"She can't have gone far, Kevin. Let's go after her. We'll show her that we thought we were doing the right thing."
"But were we, Lucy? Shouldn't I have just been straightforward with her?"
"It's obvious from her reaction that she would have taken this hard any way we went about it."
"She trusted me, Lucy. And now I've lost that trust. How am I suppose to get that back? She's my daughter. It's more important than ever that she trust me," Kevin began to pace the room.
"Doc, maybe we should go find her. Convince her we only had her best interests in mind."
"Did we really?" He stopped turning to face Lucy once more, "Or were we looking out for my best interests? And what good did I just do springing the truth on her like that? I've probably done more damage to her in the past few minutes than it took Rachel a lifetime to cause."
"Doc, it's probably not so bad. Livvie trusts you. She knows that you wouldn't try to hurt her."
"Maybe," He shrugged, "But maybe I just made everything that Rachel has been saying about me into a reality."
Livvie roamed aimlessly for a while, finding herself on the docks..... by the water...again. She gazed out into the dark water and felt like it was calling to her. Maybe it was. Maybe it was her destiny. She'd spent her entire life dreaming about being in the water, struggling before letting the water have her. Maybe it was what she was meant to do now.
She looked out at the water and felt it lull her. Her tears had slowed to a bare trickle, but she felt her cheeks still damp from the steady flow earlier. Why had it hurt so much that Kevin told her he was her father? She should have been happy that it was someone she cared about, trusted, and respected. But it hurt that he'd kept his suspicions from her while encouraging her to find the truth. It was yet more lies to add to her mother's.
Her mother. Rachel wasn't even her mother. The woman she'd grown up loving and admiring wasn't her mother, but her aunt. She'd wanted to make Rachel proud of her and be everything that Rachel had wanted. It was too bad that Livvie had wanted to be Rachel's daughter because it meant a lifetime of lies to compound all the others.
Livvie stepped to the edge of the dock and watched the star light twinkle over the lapping water. She sighed as she felt her head spin lightly and she began to tip over.
"Whoa," She heard the shout come from behind her just before the strong arms swung around her and pull her back against an equally powerful chest. She snapped out of her daze and glanced down to the hands which were locked around her before looking up into the familiar and very welcome eyes.
"Livvie, what were you doing? What...." Chris stopped as he turned her to face him and he saw her tear streaked cheeks, "Livvie, what's wrong? What happened?"
"Kevin," She said wiping at her tears, "He told me tonight that he's my father."
Chris looked back at her confused. He would have thought she'd have been pleased with the news yet heartbroken about Rachel. He frowned as he looked back into her eyes, "He's your father?" He asked feigning surprise.
She nodded, "Yes, and he knew it. He's been wondering if it was true for a while and he kept it from me. He lied to me just like my mother did." She threw her hands up in the air, "She's not even my mother, Chris. God....what is happening to me?"
Chris took Livvie into his arms and hugged her close. He held her as she cried and he felt horrible for her. He'd wanted to see Rachel lose what she loved like she'd done with him, but he never expected to care for Livvie so much. He'd meant for their relationship to be more like a card player and she was his ace in the hole, but she had become his most valuable chip and he couldn't let go.
"What's wrong with me Chris? Why does everyone lie to me? Why doesn't anyone tell me the truth?" She cried as she looked up into his eyes.
"Livvie, I'll tell you the truth. I want to tell you all of it....the entire truth."
"Have you kept any secrets from me, Chris? I want to know everything if you have because I'm sick of people keeping things from me."
"I'm not keeping anything from you, Livvie. For a while I have to admit, I wondered....after you found out about Rachel, but I had no idea it would turn out to be true," He explained.
"This just isn't fair," She said burying her head in his chest again as she cried.
"Shhh, it's okay," He attempted to soothe her, "Come on. I'll take you to my apartment and you can rest. I get the feeling you could use it."
"I don't want to rest. I can't. I want to figure my self out."
"Then you can at least figure yourself out somewhere warm and safe, okay?" He asked giving her a light smile, "You can just relax at my place."
"Chris, I already owe you so much as it is."
"You don't owe me anything. I care about you. It's enough to see you safe."
She half smiled before leaning into him as they walked back to his car. Chris drove her back to his apartment in silence. She stepped inside still quiet as she looked around and frowned. He touched her shoulder and spoke, "It'll be okay, Livvie. Somehow things will work out."
"I just feel so lost right now."
"You're not lost. You're just a little confused and no one can blame you for that," He said as they made their way to the sofa and sat down, "You just need to take some time to figure things out."
"I've been trying to do that for months now and it only gets worse. It's horrible....I feel like the more I know, the more lost I am."
"This all must be very difficult for you. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling."
"I feel like my entire
world has fallen apart and there are only a few things that I can count
on. I can count on the sun rising tomorrow, I can count on you to
get me to smile even when I'm trying not to. I can count on my mother
keeping secrets from me, and Kevin trying to deny what my mother says and
then doing everything that she says about him. I can count on Dr.
Lambert trying to force me away from Kevin while Lucy pushes me towards
him, and I can count on my
nightmares being there
each and every night to keep me in this hell I've been living with my entire
life. I still wake up and I am so scared that one day I won't wake
up and it'll be real. I fight so hard, but it never does any good.
Why doesn't it do any good Chris?"
Chris put his arm around her as she burst into tears once more. He held her close and stroked her hair gently, "One day it will, Livvie. I'm not a psychiatrist and I can't give you any professional advice, but as your friend....I have to tell you that you should keep fighting. Don't ever give up and let the dream take over."
"It's getting harder every day," She said feeling safer as he held her close, "It's getting more difficult because no matter how much I fight the dream gets worse and worse. I'm not making any progress. I'm taking so many steps backwards."
"You're not taking any steps backwards, Livvie. The truth is never a step backwards. The truth may hurt and seem very hard to deal with, but the truth is a very big step forward."
"Why does it feel like I'm so far behind? I can't even begin to think about what to do next."
"What do you think you should do?"
Livvie shrugged, "I don't know. I don't know whether to confront my mother or if I should go back to Kevin. The thought of doing either one hurts so much."
"Then don't think about it right now, Livvie. I know that's a lot easier said than done, but we'll find a way to make this better if only for a little while, okay?"
"There isn't a way to make this better Chris."
"Not even with some stupid cable TV?" He asked with a smile as he reached for the remote control and offered it to her, "I'll even let you control the remote."
Livvie smiled lightly as she took the remote from him, "I didn't want to smile and you made me do it anyway. I hate it when you do that."
"No you don't," Chris smiled as she hugged him again. He hugged her in return and smiled as she began to surf the channels on the set.
"Okay...I know you'll probably protest, but I really want to watch this. It's stupid, but I could really use something to laugh at."
Chris glanced at the screen as Austin Powers began. He laughed softly, "I will not protest. This movie is hilarious. How about you sit here and get comfortable? I'll get us some sodas and popcorn."
"Thank you Chris," Livvie smiled as she kicked off her shoes and settled into the cushions of the sofa.
Chris walked into the kitchen to make the popcorn and he glanced back to the living room. How could he find a way to get what he wanted and still keep Livvie as his friend? There had to be some way that he could continue to share times like this with her after all the truth came out. He wondered if he should give Livvie a glimpse into what he'd had planned or if he should stop while he was ahead and refocus on what he'd originally set out to do.
"Doc, I don't know where else to look," Lucy frowned, "We've checked everywhere. Rachel's out of town so we know that Livvie didn't go to her. Where could she be?"
Kevin frowned as he stared at the road in front of him, "I think I know."
"Where?" Lucy asked, snapping her head around to face Kevin.
"With Chris," He frowned, his expression turning very dark and his anger began to mount. His foot pressed the gas down hard and the engine roared in response as they sped down the highway towards Chris' penthouse.
"You don't think she'd really go back there, do you?"
"Yes I do. I think Chris has her fooled into believing that he's her friend, that she can trust him. We both know that Chris is only out to hurt her."
"How do we stop him? Right now, she's not going to believe either of us."
"We'll make her see. Somehow we have to make her see," Kevin said with a frown as he parked the car quickly and rushed into the elevator with Lucy at his heels, "I won't let him ruin my daughter's life."
"So you're feeling pretty protective of her, huh?" Lucy asked fidgeting lightly as she watched him.
"At this moment, yes," He said firmly as the elevator doors opened.
The door bell rang and Livvie frowned, "I'll get that, Chris," She said walking to the door and opening it to find Kevin on the other side.
"Get your things, Livvie. You're coming with us."
"Like hell I am," She said taking a step back and beginning to close the door.
Kevin held out his hand and pressed the door back, "Yes you are. There's no way I'm letting you stay here with him."
"Chris is the only person in this entire town that hasn't lied to me. He's the only one I can trust," Livvie said tearfully, "Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Livvie, he's not your friend."
"Yes he is," She shouted.
Chris came from the other room and watched as Livvie fled to him, throwing her arms around him, "Chris, make them stop. Make them leave me alone."
Chris held onto her, stroking her hair gently, "Kevin, Lucy, I think you should both leave now."
"We're not going anywhere without her Chris," Kevin said firmly taking a step forward.
"She doesn't want you here. Can't you respect her wishes?"
"She's my daughter," Kevin shouted.
"She told me," Chris remained calm, still holding Livvie as she cried, "And I think that's enough of a upset for one night. Now if you don't leave on your own, I'll be forced to call security."
"Chris, I won't let you get away with this."
"Get away with what?" He asked shrugging lightly, "All I've done is take care of her, listen to her, and be her friend. I've never hurt her like you all keep doing."
"That's not fair."
"No it's not," Chris said firmly, "Especially to Livvie. So if don't mind, there's the door," He said nodding towards the doorway.
Kevin stepped forward, taking Livvie by the arm, "You're coming with me."
"No," Livvie squealed as she tried to tear her arm from his grip.
Chris wrested Kevin's grip away from Livvie and shoved him away from her. Kevin's rage got the better of him as he lost his temper and threw a punch directly connecting with Chris' jaw and knocking him to the floor.
"Chris!" Livvie cried out as she moved beside him on the floor.
"Doc!" Lucy shouted as she moved in front of him, "He's not worth it. Just leave them be."
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Livvie cried as she gently touched Chris' jawline, "I'm so sorry about this Chris. I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault, Livvie," Chris said regaining his bearings as he finally refocused on Kevin, "Get out."
Kevin frowned as he took a step backwards, "This isn't over, Chris. Not by a long shot." Lucy urged Kevin out the door and pulled the door closed behind them.
Livvie lightly touched Chris' jaw, "I'll get you some ice."
"Livvie, wait," Chris said as he took her by the wrist lightly, "Are you okay?"
Livvie's eyes filled with tears before she threw her arms around him and buried her face at his chest, "I'll never be okay."
Chris stroked her hair tenderly and hugged her close to him. He now knew that he couldn't break her heart any more. He'd have to protect her and care for her because no one else would. He'd finally found one person who needed him, and deep in his heart, he found that he needed her as well.